Taking the leap
by MidnightWillows
Summary: A small one-shot, inspired by Valentine's Day. Sherlock contemplates about his life and his feelings, and he finally takes the leap.


**A small one-shot inspired by Valentine's Day. It's all from Sherlock's P.O.V. Comments/reviews appreciated!**

**Spread the love people :)**

"_This is how you get our kicks then, isn't it? You risk your life to prove you're clever."_

"_Why would I do that?"_

"_Because you're an idiot."_

Right there.

That was the exact moment when I fell in love with John Watson.

Of course, I didn't know it right there and then, but afterwards I have concluded that it was those words that caught me.

For someone who has always thought love to be a disadvantage, and made it his life's mission to never get involved, I think I fell rather easy. I had long since embraced the idea of me as a freak, a lunatic and a madman as those were the names that people called me when growing up. And honestly, I didn't really care. I had The Work, and for some time I had other ways to get some relief from what they call life. _Don't think about that, it makes John sad._

Maybe I was mad. Maybe I still am. But even mad can get lonely sometimes. Then John came and I have never been lonely since.

John Watson.

The man who shot a cabbie to save my life, only hours after we'd met. The man who understands me. The man who would do anything for me. The man who puts up with human body-parts in the fridge and eye-balls in the microwave. The man who lets me know when something is _'A Bit Not Good'_ and who punches a police-man in the face because he insulted me.

The man who looks at me like I'm the center of his world. The man who touches me as though I'm made of glass, and other times as though the world is on fire and I'm the last drop of water on earth.

The man that I love.

_Love._

Such an unpredictable feeling. It cages you. It makes you weak. It shatters you into million pieces. It hurts. But somehow, maybe because I'm mad, I think it's worth it. It's all worth it.

I think I will always be mad. But I'm not lonely anymore.

All of this goes through my mind as I stand in this silly room beside John. I wanted us to be alone, but John insisted that the others should be here as well. He said that there had to be witnesses. So now Mrs. Hudson, Molly and Lestrade _(Gavin? Graham? George?)_ are standing behind us.

I rather like that though. Witnesses. As though we are at a crime-scene. As though what we are doing is criminal.

_Sherlock Holmes and John Watson. Partners in crime._

Yes I like it very much. It makes perfect sense.

The room smells of flowers and my jacket smells of cigarettes. _I hope John doesn't notice._ I would never admit it, but I was nervous. I had to calm my nerves somehow, and as the choice was between cigarettes and drugs, I picked the alternative that would upset John the least.

It's February the 14th. Apparently, there is something special about this day. I think it has something to do with hearts. Maybe a remembrance day of some cardiac-surgeon? I don't know. But it seemed very important to John, and I don't really care what day it is. If he is happy, I am happy.

I turn my eyes towards him. John Watson. The purpose of my existence. My entire world. My lungs, my body and my heart. _The love of my life_.

He smiles at me, and it's like someone has torn off the roof and the sun shines in. Suddenly I'm not nervous anymore. I smile back at him.

John is about to answer the question that will change our lives, and his answer makes my chest feel like it's going to explode. The priest in front of us turns towards me, and I know it's my turn. _This is it. _I barely register the question, but I've heard it before, I know what to do. I'm shivering, but I don't notice until John's hand finds my own. His reassuring gaze goes right through me and I know. I've always known.

_This is right. _

Falling's just like flying. Except there is a more permanent destination.

_If the destination is John, I would fall anytime. _

This is the best day of my life. I take the leap. I'm falling, and it's the best feeling in the world. John smiles as I finally say the words I've been thinking about for so long.

"I do."


End file.
